I never know what to put in the title...

So far, so good.

That really sums most of it up. Just got back from one of my weekly NST. Heart rate sitting at 125, and then accelerating up to about 150 with good movement. Blood pressure good, as always.

I see the OB on Thursday, and this will be the appointment where I get my prenatal sheet to carry around with me, and also I will get switched over to bi-weekly appointments.

Next week Tuesday I have another ultrasound in Winnipeg. Hoping everything looks good still! Still not sure if they will have me come back to Winnipeg for another ultrasound after this one or not. I will be 32 weeks pregnant next week, and if they follow their normal schedule, having me come back in another 4-5 weeks puts me at 36 or 37 weeks and by then we are already into planning mode on how this baby will be born. So I don't know.

On the emotional front, I have being dealing with a few little panic attacks each day. They are worse during the day when I'm home by myself and I find myself doing nothing for a bit. So as long as I keep myself relatively busy during the day with little things, and my hubby comes home to me in the evenings (which he always does!), I can manage them. They mostly stem from memories. I still can't get my head past how everything ended last time. My mind imagines all the way up to the birth, and then slams to a halt. Then I start to panic; worry about recent movement, worry about a possible c-section....everything just hits me all at once. I'm just glad I have such wonderful support around me!

Train keeps rolling...

Forward. Always forward.

I just realized that in my last post I said that my house is usually 90% ready for company; these last two weeks must have been that other 10%. Not a huge mess by any means, but clutter and stuff everywhere. In my defense, we were busy with taking the youth to a conference in Winnipeg for a weekend, so there was the planning beforehand and the sleep needed after, so that really dragged me down. But I will work at it slowly, and it will be back to neat in no time.

In baby news; at my last OB appointment they had me do the 1 hour sugar test, and that result came back high. So this last Monday I went in to do the 3 hour sugar test (oh joy...not). But I called for the results yesterday and they were normal. Huh. So no gestational diabetes for me! But because of the high result on the 1 hour test, I am still conscious of how much sugar I'm taking in throughout the day.

And for the next little bit, not a lot planned.

Two more Fridays with the youth, with a huge wind-up on the 22nd. Then youth is done.

I have another OB appointment on the 28th, and after that I think they will be bringing me in for an appointment every 2 weeks because I'll be 31 weeks.

I have another fetal assessment on June 2nd in Winnipeg, and I'm thinking that might be the last time I head in to the big city for an ultrasound. I will just continue to be monitored here at home.

So after all that, being about 32 weeks by then, I will slowly start working on getting the baby's room finished (again). I've been scared of getting it set up early this time because....well....it's just scary! But it will need to get done for sure by then, so I will suck it up and just do it.

As a side note, because I don't really feel like going deep into my feelings on the subject, let me just say that I'm not sure how to feel on Sunday (Mother's Day). It will be odd.

Ups and Downs

So I realize that I haven't posted on here in a while. Don't quite know why; it's not like I'm too busy. I'm on the computer checking this and Face.book a minimum of 3 times a day. Just an attack of apathy I guess. I think the easiest way to get all the news out in an understandable format is by numbers, so here we go:

1. I am enjoying being a stay at home wife/mom(?). With how drained I am, I don't think I could even make it through a 4 hour shift, let alone a normal 8 hours shift. But this allows me to make sure that at least 90% of the time I have something for supper planned, and the house is almost always in "company-ready" condition.

2. Everything still seems to be going fine with this pregnancy. I don't even remember when the last time I updated, so I'll just list what has happened so far.

- Ultrasound done in March; everything looking good. Heart development normal. Measurements were on track with dates. Heart beat good. (Forgot to ask for pictures at that one; oh well.)

- It was recommended (and I agree) that I start going for weekly non-stress tests just to keep an eye on the heart of the baby. So that started about halfway through March. It is nice to have that reassurance each week; to be able to just lay there for a couple of minutes with the baby's heart thumping away. So this will continue until the birth.

-Just finished going for an ultrasound yesterday. Again, all good news. Measurements on track with dates. Heart rate good. (see picture at the end of the post...)

3. I also had a doctor's appointment today, and while there we discussed what our options were for the birth of this baby. When Xavier was born, the OB had a hard time trying to get his shoulders out. Like he said, it wasn't such a huge deal at the time because with Xavier already passed away, there was no rush or anything. But he wasn't a big baby; he was only 7lbs 2oz. Because we are thinking positively and assuming that this baby will make it to delivery, it would become a big deal if the same thing happened again. So we were trying to figure out what the best plan of attack is.

I had asked the OB about the idea of inducing early (35 or 36 weeks), just to be able to have the normal birth with a "smaller" baby. But he nixed that immediately; it's just not something that they do. I was more just curious than anything, so I'm okay with that option not working. So after a bit more discussion, here's how it's going to break down. I will be monitored closely towards the end of the pregnancy by ultrasound, and they will be keeping a very close eye on the baby's size. The OB basically told me today that if it looks like it will be at all close to Xavier's weight, they will most likely be doing a c-section for the birth. Well, that does not leave a lot of room to allow for a normal birth, because if Xavier was 7.2 at 36 weeks, I'm not sure how small they think this baby will be if left to go to 37-40 weeks. As a result, it's pretty safe to say this one will be a c-section. So now I have that to worry about for the next 10-12 weeks. Joy.

But all in all, that is where we stand. Other than that, we keep busy with they youth program at our church. It will keep us busy for the month of May (what with a weekend conference and the big windup happening). The month of June will be spent getting the rest of the baby's room set back up, and waiting for the final verdict on the birth. 37 weeks is June 28-July 4, so I'm assuming they would plan the c-section for that week or the week after. And then it's a whole new ball game! (Hopefully....) And now, for the promised picture:

Sad revelation

I was at my OB appointment today, and realized that it's no longer fun to go there. I don't look forward to each one with the sense of joy that I did with the first pregnancy. Each time I go there, I feel more and more like crying as I sit there and wait. Kind of sucks.

Heartbeat was good; 145. Although baby was hiding on the OB a bit, took him a couple of minutes to find a good spot.

Waiting until the 17th when I have my ultrasound in Winnipeg.

Not alot to say

That's why I really haven't posted on here for a bit. Well that and the extreme tiredness that I'm trying to deal with.

My OB confirmed that having two pregnancies so close together is causing quite a bit of strain on my body, so sleep is very important. Other than that, everything is going fine. My most recent appointment was on Feb 3rd. All looking good. Got a good heartbeat again; 150 this time. The ultrasound I had in Jan was pretty good. My due date changed a little bit; got pushed back 10 days. So instead of July 15th, I'm due around July 26th. The only thing odd they picked up on was that between the amniotic sac and either the placenta or uterine wall there is a small bubble of blood. Just hanging out, not really doing anything. OB told me it was no reason to worry; it's not going to interfere with the pregnancy in anyway. He just wanted me to know so that if I had a bit of spotting sometime, that as long as it's old blood that it would just be that bubble draining.

Next appointment is March 3rd. Waiting for that because then I can hear the heartbeat again. Been feeling a few of the first tiny kicks and flutters that will ease some of my tension between visits, so that's good. I'm anxiously waiting the fetal assessment I have in Winnipeg on March 17th. Higher tech machines and such will hopefully give me a better look inside and maybe a bit more in-depth info.

Other than that, just dealing with the strange weather we always seem to get. It's been warmer here the last few days, so all the snow started to melt and make it very slushy. Then all day yesterday it rained; we got about 5-10mm. Then today, it snowed about 6 inches. Not a good couple of days for driving I'll tell you! The snow is supposed to let off some time tonight, and I'm hoping that we go back to the warmer temps so that the snow will continue to melt!

The promised picture

So I have had this picture now for almost a week, and I realized I was being just lazy in not spending the 30 seconds to scan it to the computer. So finally, I got off my butt and just did it.

Makes me glad I have an internal heater right now

So, let's see here. Neck still sore from the pinched nerve? Check. Still have a tendency to feel quite nauseous at any time of the day? Check. Still having my body wake me up at 3 or 4 in the morning because I am that hungry? Check.

And now, to top it all off, the temperature here is currently -36 Celsius. Oh but wait. Add in the windchill factor of winds gusting at 20 to 30 km per hour, and it feels like........-52 Celsius!!!!!

*sigh* In better news, my ultrasound is today. Being able to see with my own eyes that everything is still okay will be wonderful. And the big questions will be answered; is there one or two? (My mind is still thinking maybe two.)

I will post later today with what all goes down, and maybe a picture if I get one.

Eveyone with me now....."whew"

So a big sigh of relief for me. The appointment went rather well. (Aside from the nasty cervical exam and pap smear and stuff....always fun, right?) I told him I thought I was about 9w6d. After the internal exam was done, he checked my uterus, and it is well above the pelvic bone already. And he did try to find a heart beat, and IT WAS THERE! (I think I teared up a bit; man was I worried.) HB sitting at 160 bpm. Everything fine there too.

So because my uterus is a bit high and he could find the heart beat no problem, he is of the opinion that I am about 12w6d. I'm okay with that!

He is sending me for an ultrasound here, to get dates verified and such. But I am also getting sent to Winnipeg for a higher-tech ultrasound to check on blood flow. That will be interesting.

So for now I am happy, and doing a bit better than I was.